Truth Or Dare, Oerban Style
by kissingdeath01
Summary: SPOILER WARNING. (Lightning Returns & stuff.) Vanille & Fang decide to teach the others how they played the popular game 'Truth or Dare' back in their home village of Oerba. Will the consequences of the challenges intrigue them? Or will they have to face the familiar nemesis of death? Find out now! (OOC mostly. Vanille/Lightning, Fang/Snow, Serah/Hope.) M for language.
1. The Beginning

{SPOILER WARNING. Hey! Here's my fic for you ... I was bored, then this came to mind. Please enjoy your (possibly) first crazy ride at the KissingDeath01's Carnival of [Her] Life! Warning: OOC. By the way, there's slight Vanaire in here ... you know, since Vanille sounds like 'Vanilla' and Claire in Japanese is Éclair ... Don't flame please...!}

**Truth Or Dare, Oerban Style**

"How do people make underwear and bras?" Vanille asked as she sat next to Fang on the ivy colored couch, which was really weird-feeling because of its leather.

"Why d'ya wanna know all of a sudden?" Fang replied with a curious and slightly mischievous tone.

"I'm not sure. Hope said that Lightning, Sazh, Snow, Serah and him are coming over soon," the strawberry-haired girl informed the brunette. "They want to know how we played 'Truth or Dare' back in Oerba."

Fang spit out the Dr. Pepper she was drinking with a rather loud 'Ha!' "Ya really wanna teach 'em how we played it?" she asked.

"Yeah...! Hopefully no one'll die this time." Vanille let out a soft set of giggles at her own statement.

"... Right. Hopefully."

_Meanwhile, a few streets away ..._

"So Hope, when are we leaving for Fang and Vanille's?" Lightning asked the silverette.

"Right now, if you and everyone else's ready," he replied. He looked questioningly at the others.

"I'm ready," said Snow and Sazh in unision. They looked at each other in a confused manner.

"Heh!" Serah squealed. "You two are so funny! I'm ready, too."

"You ready, Lightni —"

"You mean Claire!" Serah corrected. This made Snow and Hope laugh, and even Lightning chuckled a bit. "Or, as Vanille likes to call her, Éclair!"

"Wait ... Don't éclairs have frosting-like stuff in the middle that come in different flavors?" Lightning asked.

"Yeah ... Why?" Serah answered.

"Since I'm an éclair, I demand I be a vanilla éclair!"

"I see where this is going," Hope said.

"Oh! So you can have **Vanille **as your frosting!" Serah exclaimed, laughing.

Hope widened his eyes as a trickle of blood dripped from his nose. "W-wait ... d-does that mean...?!"

Lightning widened her pearlescent eyes as well. "I-I...?! In the name of Etro — **Serah**!"

"Eh?"

"Did you mean it in a weird way..?"

"N-no! Of course not!"

"O-okay ..." Lightning — or, as we call her now, Vanille Éclair — cleared her throat awkwardly. "I guess I'm ready ... Let's go."

"Mm-hmm," Hope agreed. "Let's go learn 'Truth or Dare, Oerban Style'!"

_Back to our lovely sisters ... No, I don't mean Vanille Éclair and Dirty Serah._

"Are you suuure they're gonna be here soon?" Vanille asked impatiently.

"Vanille, calm ya-self down. They'll be here any minute now." Fang leaned against the door — which, obviously couldn't be a great idea.

"Fang, you're gonna fall."

"Oh yeah? Watch me. I won't fa —" And at that moment, Sazh opens the door and points his pistols at ... well, everything.

"What'd I tell you," Vanille mumbled. She brightened up after realizing that they had arrived. "Hey guys! Ready for some ..." She giggled a bit, knowing what trouble she'd be in after teaching and playing the Oerban version of 'Truth or Dare' to the others, "'Truth or Dare'?"

"We're definitely ready!" Lightning (Vanille Éclair) exclaimed. "Oh ... and sorry about your sister."

"It's okay! Heh, she falls all the time." She laughed slightly.

Fang got up and scowled at Lightning. "... Let's just start teachin' 'em, Vani."

Vanille had to hold in her laughter. "All right!" She lead the others to her room. Hope gasped at the sight, taking it in: a queen-size bed with satin sheets and a small pink stuffed panda sitting atop, a furry zebra-striped cotton blanket covering about 1 foot x 1 foot amount of the floor in use as a carpet, a magenta wallpaper with small flower petal décor, even a guest bed! But the one thing he really admired about her room, was the small picture in the hazel picture frame sitting on the desk across the room. The picture was breathtaking. _She drew that, _he thought. _She drew it._ The picture was indeed a drawing, but not just any. It was a drawing — an accurate drawing — of all of them together. The picture almost brought a tear to Hope's eye as he remembered all the memories they had shared together. Including defeating Bhunivelze.

Serah was also taken aback by this photo that she had discovered on Vanille's desk just a few seconds after Hope had. However, she didn't think about it as long as he did.

Vanille and Fang noticed everyone staring at the redhead's room. Vanille decided to get everyone's attention. "Okay, here's how it's played!"

Everyone turned toward her.

"There's 14 challenges. And they're random, you never know what challenge's next. Like, say, Challenge #1 might be the water challenge. I'll explain that when it's time. Ooh... A small warning before we start. There's just a tiiiny 7% chance you'll die or get knocked out. Only because as each round passes, the challenges get harder and more ... extreme." She paused for a moment to let everyone take in what she'd stated, then added, "Ready to play?"

Everyone nodded. Especially Snow and Sazh. They nodded eagerly.

"Let the Oerban Truth or Dare begin!"

{Yeah, this chapter is short. K. And yeah, I got that last line from the Hunger Games. Meh. Next chapter'll be up soon, so stay tuned! Peace. 3 ~Ari}


	2. The Fashion Challenge

{Sorry for the wait! Alright, Chapter 2. Beware of Vanaire. XD that rhymed. Also, slight Serah x Fang in this. Lol I had to. And ... there's a bit of detail in the Serah x Fang ... You'll find out.}

**Round One, The Fashion Challenge**

Recap:

_Everyone nodded. Especially Snow and Sazh. They nodded eagerly._

_"Let the Oerban Truth or Dare begin!"_

**x.x.x.x.x**

Everyone gathered in a circle. "How about we start in alphabetical order?" Vanille asked. They nodded. "Good. The first person gets asked 'Truth or Dare' by the next person in the alphabet. Got it?" A few nods were recieved, and a few 'Yeah's.

Hope turned toward Fang. "Truth or dare?"

"... Knowing the consequences of dare, I pick truth." Fang raised an eyebrow at Hope.

"Um ... Are you and Vanille **just **sisters, or something more?"

Fang and Vanille looked at each other with wide eyes. "What the hell?!" Fang screamed.  
"We're only sista's! That'd be like Lightning 'n' Serah dating!"

"Okay, sorr-ee. Jeez."

"Hope ... Truth or dare?" Lightning asked.

_It's just Lightning,_ he thought. _She wouldn't give me anything weird ... Right?_

"Dare."

Lightning smiled mysteriously. "I dare you to smack Fang." Considering that Fang wasn't really paying attention, rather talking with Vanille about how "disgusting" Hope's question was, this was going to be funny.

"W-what?! No!" Hope squeaked. As soon as Vanille heard Hope's refusal, she looked up.

"You want a punishment, yes?" she asked the teen. "Well, this round's challenge is the Fashion challenge!"

"What's the 'Fashion challenge'?" Hope asked nervously.

"Well, the Fashion challenge is when you refuse to do the dare or truth, you must wear clothes of the opposite gender, and the worst part ... The person who dared/truthed you has to tell you which ones to wear. So basically, you're asking for a buttload of embarrassment. We'll remember it as the 'night where Hope wore a dress that Lightning recommended for him'."

"... I'll do it, I'll do it!" Hope hesitantly walked over to Fang and smacked her cheek. Fang looked up and glared.

"Thae hell was that fo', Shorty!? Ohhh, yo' gonna get it!" She chased him around and summoned Bahamut.

"Uh-oh," everyone stated.

"It was a dare! I promise!" Hope squealed.

Fang stopped in her tracks and dismissed Bahamut. "Oh."

Hope sat down, and so did Fang.

"Truth or dare, Light?" Sazh asked.

"Dare," she said grimly.

"I dare you to moan Vanille's name!" he said happily. Lightning almost screamed.

"What the —?!" Lightning looked at him with wide cerulean hues.

Vanille sighed. "You don't want Sazh picking your clothes, trust me ..."

"Right now, I'd rather have that," she stated. "Sazh, give me boy clothes." Sazh pulled her into a dressing room.

"Right ..." Serah drifted off. "I guess I have to wait for Sazh to come back."

A few moments later, Sazh came out, laughing. "She looks so stupid!"

"Sazh, truth or dare?"

"Truth ..."

"Are you a virgin, old man?"

He almost choked and fell over. "What?!"

"Are. You. A. Virgin?"

"... Nope. Moving on."

Lightning came out wearing a GFC (Gaia Fried Chocobo) employee outfit. "I hate this." She sat down.

Everyone laughed but Vanille. She just ... kind of stared at Lightning as if saying "Sorry."

Lightning huffed with a quiet "Whatever."

"Serah, truth or dare?" Snow asked.

"Dare!"

"Quite the dare-devil, aren't you ..." Snow trailed off. He thought for a moment. _Dammit, why can't I think of anything? _"Psst ... Light!"

Lightning glared over at him. "What do **you** want?"

He whispered quietly toward her. "Help meee! I can't think of anything to dare her."

"All right..." She made a 'come here' gesture with her hand. He leaned closer.

"Hurry!" He whispered.

She started to cup her hand over his ear and around her lips to prevent anyone else from hearing. But as soon as she was about to say something, she bonked him on the back of the head, scooting away from him. "I'm not helping you, Snow."

"Oww! Aw, but sis'-"

"I'm **NOT** your sister."

"... Okay, okay. Gosh. Uhhm ... Serah, I dare you to ... make out with Fang."

Serah's eyes widened as she blushed. "A-are you serious?!"

"Why wouldn't he be?" Fang asked, smirking. "A'ight, Snow, ya sure you'd be okay wit' this? I mean ... You two **are **married, after all."

"As long as I get a nosebleed, yes."

"U-uh ... o-okay ..." Serah leaned nervously toward Fang. She bit her lip before softly pressing them against the brunette's own. She slowly shut her eyes and wrapped her fragile arms around the other female, getting slightly aroused by their own kiss. Of course, so was everyone else. Vanille covered Hope's eyes as blood shot out of his nose.

"Oh! Er ... I'll get a napkin for you, Hope!" Vanille exclaimed, covering her own nose and letting Lightning cover Hope's eyes while she ran to get some napkins.

Finally, Serah let go of Fang and looked away, crimson spreading all over her face. "I hate you, Snow." She covered her face, but not to hide the blush, to hide the smirk slowly gracing her lips.

"Aw, lighten up a bit."

Vanille came back with plenty of napkins. She snickered and walked over to Hope, wiping his nose like a mother would. "Aw, does li'l Hope need a li'l washing up?"

"S-shut up...! I can do it myself!" Hope exclaimed, pushing away Vanille and wiping off his face and some blood off of the floor that had previously dripped down.

Vanille sat down and looked at Snow. "Truth or dare?"

"Er ... seeing what happened to them ... truth."

"All right! Just what I was looking for!" Vanille giggled mischievously. "Have you and Serah ever done it?"

Snow blushed. "Done ... what exactly?"

"You know ..." She rubbed her arms together. "The diddly-doo?"

"Eh?" Snow rubbed his head in a confused manner.

"Y'know...! The dancing in the sheets!?"

"... Huh?"

Fang jumped up. "Oh fo' Etro's sake, she means have you an' Serah eva' had sex?!"

Snow blinked and almost exploded out of embarrassment. "I don't want to answer that question ..."

Vanille laughed. "You really don't want me to pick out your outfit, Snow."

Fang chuckled as well. "Yeah, trust me. Last time she picked out ma' outfit, I was accused of bein' a stripper about fifty-seven times!"

"... Oh. Then ... I still won't answer that question." Snow looked at Vanille.

"Okayyy, here we go! Into the dressing room!" Vanille pulled up Snow and led him into the room that Lightning came out of.

"Oh dear Etro ..." Lightning shook her head. A few face-palms and sighs later, Snow came out of the room wearing a pink, poofy tutu and a leotard underneath (Which somehow fit him...) with 'Princess' on the rear. Everyone bursted out laughing.

"... I can live with this," Snow said, a smile tugging at his lips. They laughed harder.

"Ready for another round?" Vanille asked.

{Here you are, the second chapter! Yeah, still pretty short. I'll try to make them longer, okay? Why does Snow like his new look? Will Lightning ever get out of her costume? And will Serah leave Snow for Fang? Find out soon! Stay tuned for the next challenge, plus the answers!}


	3. The Kissing Challenge

**{Bold. Bold. Bold. Lol I don't know.** WARNING: FLUFF. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. So here's the third chapter for you! Sorry for the wait ... ._. Whoops. Heheh. Anyways ... Vanaire is confirmed in here, and so is Serah/Hope! Yeah, the whole Serah/Fang thing (*****SPOILER*****) doesn't work out. :D You'll see. I think this is the longest AN I've ever written. On to the story!}

**Round Two, The Kissing Challenge**

Recap:

_"... I can live with this," Snow said, a smile tugging at his lips. They laughed harder._

_"Ready for another round?" Vanille asked._

**x.x.x.x.x**

Hope sighed. "I'm bored," he said.

"Hey, this round's challenge is the Kissing challenge!" Vanille squealed.

"Aw crap," Hope muttered and face-palmed.

"I'll like this challenge," Lightning stated.

"... Why's that...?" Sazh asked.

"... You'll see."

"Okay, well, here's the rules: Whoever's the youngest one playing — that's you Hope —"

"... Frick."

"— has to be kissed if the person refuses the Truth / Dare."

"W-what?!" Hope exclaimed. _Actually ... I hope Serah kisses me ... heheheh ... _Hope's eyes widened and he smacked himself. "What the hell are you thinking, conscience?!"

Vanille looked at him. "... Huh?"

"I-I ... I'm talking to myself." _She's married! What the hell, dude?! _He shook his head. _Hey ... I guess she is pretty hot ... with that mini-skirt ... and that top ..._ His nose began bleeding.

"Oh come on! Why does this always happen?!" Vanille squeaked while getting more paper towels.

"Let's just start already," Fang said. Hope nodded while wiping his nose.

"Truth or Dare, Fang?" he asked.

"I picked truth last time ... so it's only fair if I pick ... dare!"

"Jeez ... uh ..." He remembered when Fang and Serah made out the last round and held the paper towel up to his nose while he thought. _What if Serah likes her more than me?!_ Hope raised an eyebrow. _She's married you doof ... she likes her __**husband**__ more than you, genius._ "Uh ... I dare you to ... lick Sazh's chocobo."

"All right! Finally!" She walked over to Sazh — who was distracted, and didn't hear the dare — and tapped him on the shoulder. "Can I borrow ya chocobo, Afro-Face?"

"I thought you'd never ask!" he said cheerfully, handing her the little bird. She gently graced her tongue along its sides, and all its edges until it was completely covered in her saliva. "... Er ... Why'd you do that?"

"It was a dare." She walked back to her spot.

"Hope! Truth or Dare." Lightning looked at him.

"I pick truth since last time was a dare." _Oh Etro ... what will she give me?!_

"Are you a virgin, and if not, who'd you lose it to?"

"W-wha — uh ... N-no ... I'm not ... " He started blushing.

"Who'd you lose it to, Hopie?" Vanille asked with a small snicker.

"..." He looked desperately at Serah. _Does she remember ...? _Serah looked back at him, mouthing the words "Just say it." _She __**does**__ remember ..._

Still in her GFC outfit, Lightning asked, "Well? Who was it?"

"Your ... Your sister ... Serah," he admitted.

Everyone went silent. Serah looked down, and so did Hope.

"... Oh ..." Lightning trailed off.

Snow's eyes were wide and he looked at Serah with a mad face. "You lied to me! You said that you were a virgin the first time we frick-fracked!"

Serah laughed. "I'm sorry, Snow, but it's hard to take you seriously when A, you're in that tutu and leotard, and B, you say frick-frack."

He blushed. "Whatever. We have an unofficial divorce, now."

She sighed. "'Kay then." She scooted next to Hope.

_Oh God ... _he thought. _C'mon nose ... don't bleed ... _"Who's next ...?"

"I am," Lightning said.

"All right! Light, truth or dare?" Sazh asked.

"Truth ..."

"Okay ... Have you ever dated a girl before, Light?"

"Of course I have ... I'm a lesbian ..."

Sazh covered his nose ... and so did Hope. "O-oh, okay ..."

"Truth or dare, Sazh?" Serah asked.

"Dare ... I see this going somewhere ..."

"I dare you to have sex with your chocobo!"

"Looks like I'm kissing Hope ..."

"W-what?!" Hope sqeaked. Again.

"Oh! A rule I almost forgot!" Vanille started, "It has to be on the lips!"

Sazh sighed. "Better than doin' it with my chocobo." He walked over to Hope and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

Snow looked at Vanille. "Can I ask you instead of Serah?"

"Uh .. Sure, I guess."

"Okay, truth or dare, Vanille? And you have to do a truth and a dare because you didn't do one last round."

"Truth!" She smiled.

"Okay ... Be honest. Do you have a crush on sis' — I mean, Light?"

Vanille looked down, embarrassed. "... Yeah."

Lightning looked at her softly — not that cruel glare that she always give people, but that soft face she gave Serah in the beginning of Final Fantasy XIII when she was crystallized. "You ... You do?"

"Yes ..."

"Vanille ... I-I ... I do, too ..." Lightning stammered. "I mean ... I have a crush on you, too ..."

Vanille looked at her. "Really?" Lightning nodded. Vanille sat next to Lightning and hugged her.

"Aw," everyone said.

"Get a room, sis'!" Fang and Serah said.

"Okay, Vanille, I dare you to kiss Lightning," Snow said happily.

Vanille did so. Not the kind of kiss that Sazh gave Hope {AN: which btw I do NOT ship Hope and Sazh together. blegh.}, but the kind of kiss that Serah and Fang had. Passionate, real, and full-on ... meant. Like they were meant to be. Finally, they finished, and Vanille looked away.

"I like this round," she said.

"Me too," all the boys said — and even Fang.

"Let's have another round! How about it?" she asked, giggling and looking at Lightning.

Lightning nodded. "Sounds perfect."

{Okay, yeah, lots'a fluff. Plus ... I only answered one of the questions from the previous chapter: Will Serah leave Snow for Fang? The answer was no, Serah left Snow for Hope. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed!}


	4. The Syrup Challenge

{Sorry about that looong wait. D: I feel really bad. Welp, here's chapter 4! Oh and by the way, I added an OC into this chapter. Don't worry, he doesn't play the game, Vanille only mentions him once.}

**Round Three, The Syrup Challenge**

Recap:

"_Let's have another round! How about it?" she asked._

_Lightning nodded. "Sounds perfect."_

**x.x.x.x.x**

"I'm bored. I want to go home," Sazh remarked.

"Hey! That's my line!" Hope grunted.

"You'll regret saying that," Lightning said.

"… Why?" Sazh dared to ask.

"Whenever someone makes a remark, I noticed, Vanille mentions what this round's challenge is. As far as I am curious, I don't really want to find out this soon." Lightning shook her head.

"I see. Hey, we'll find out eventually anyways."

Vanille nodded. "Hey Fang, do you remember that one challenge that was very weird?"

"Which one? All of 'em are weird!" Fang said, chuckling.

"The one that … what was his name … Rein! The one that Rein threw up in!"

"Ah, the Syrup challenge?" Fang smirked.

"The S-syrup challenge …?" Hope squeaked. "I think I already know what happens …"

"Well, what's your guess?" Vanille asked whilst tilting her head.

"Hmm … Do they get syrup poured on their head if they refuse?" Hope asked.

"Yes! One thing to add: It's called 'Very Icky Sticky Syrup'! I always use it on my waffles and pancakes! And sometimes my enemies!"

"I'm guessing that's the stickiest syrup gets?" Hope asked.

"Yup! The reason our friend threw up that round is because … well … heh, we used some really old syrup to pour on him. It was … grooooss." Vanille giggled. Fang nodded.

"It was so disgusting and it took 'im so long to wash out! What was it, Vanni? Seven months?" Fang asked.

"No, no … It was definitely eleven and a half months."

"W-whoa! Almost a whole year?!" Serah asked.

"Mm-hmm," Vanille confirmed.

"I guess we should just get this round over with," Snow said, tightening his tutu.

"Yo' still in dat thang?" Fang asked.

"Yeah ... So?"

"Ain't that ... I dunno ... a bit girly fo' ya?"

"Nope. It fits perfectly, AND it makes me look gay."

"Okay, first of all, how can you LOOK gay? That's just kind of ... rude. Second of all, you don't 'look' like anything, only a grown man enjoying himself in a pink tutu meant for girls," Hope corrected.

"Gee, Hope. Since when were you so defensive over homosexuals?" Lightning asked.

"Since ever ... Anyway, truth or dare, Fang?"

"Mmmm ... I smell whiskey." Fang sniffed the air.

"I said, TRUTH OR DARE?!"

"E-eh? Oh. I pick dare."

"I dare you to kiss Snow. {*cough* where the real Fang/Snow happens. *cough*}"

"Aw, hell nah! I ain't kissin' that!" Fang pursed her lips and pointed her nose in the air with a pout.

"Fangy, you should do it! It'll be kee-YOOT!" Vanille gushed.

"Oi, enough wit' dis cute stuff. I'll do it, okay?!" Fang groaned and leaned over to Snow and kissed him passionately. Snow's eyes widened. _I can't believe she actually went through with it ... Wow, she's a great kisser. How is Vanille NOT dating he- oh wait ... they're sisters. But seriously_ _... why can't Serah be this good? Er, why COULDN'T she be? She was lucky when she kissed Fang a few rounds ago. Man, I bet even sis' couldn't be this goo-_

"SNOW!" Vanille shouted.

"Eh?" He rubbed the back of his head.

"Well? Aren't you gonna answer?"

"... Answer what exactly?"

"Answer what exactly?" Fang scoffed. "Ma QUESTION, dumb ass."

Still dazed about both the kiss and the fact that he had left a question hanging in the air, he answered, "... What was the question?"

"DID YA LIKE THA KISS?" Fang shouted at him.

"... Y-yes! Okay? Yeah, I did! You happy?"

"Very," was Fang's reply.

{_Such idiots_, the author thinks, but sadly, the stupid characters cannot hear nor see her.}

"Hope, truth or dare?" Lightning asked.

"Ah ... Truth."

"Will you ever get Serah pregnant?"

"... Let me think about that one." Hope brushed his non-existent beard with his fingers.

Serah blinked awkwardly. "Dude! What the fudge?"

"My answer is it is her choice."

"All right then," Lightning said.

"Hey, Light! Truth or Dare?" Sazh asked, looking at her.

"I pick truth. I'm afraid of what you'd dare me." Lightning took a sip of some coffee Vanille brought her while Fang and Snow were kissing.

"Alright, cool. Are you on your period?"

Lightning spat the coffee directly on Sazh's face. "Wha- I'm NOT answering that!"

"You want some sticky syrup poured on you, yes?" Vanille asked.

"Better than answering that ..."

Vanille cheerfully grabbed the bottle of Very Sticky Syrup and poured it over Lightning's head. "Sorry, babe." The brown syrup trickled down the sides of the warrior's strawberry hair.

"Disgusting ..." Lightning remarked. She took a small taste of the syrup. "At least it tastes good."

"Oh, man! I am NOT hugging you for eleven months, sis'!" Serah said, giggling and tasting the syrup as well. "Mm ... This IS good! Truth or Dare, old man?"

Sazh sighed. "I can assume you were speaking to me. I pick truth."

"Hummmm ... If Lighty was your age, would you consider doing her?"

"Oh jeez ... I dunno. I'll have to see what she looks like when she's forty-four."

"Truth or Dare, Serah?" Snow reluctantly asked.

"No more frick-fracking! And dare." She looked at him with a smirk and even he couldn't hold back a small chuckle.

"I dare you to go frick Hope in the other room."

"... Give me the syrup!" Serah said.

Vanille giggled, pouring another bottle of it on her head.

"Yum!" Serah exclaimed.

Vanille smiled. "Truth or Dare, Snow?"

"I pick dare."

"I dare you to dye your hair bright green!"

"I guess I'm gonna be avoided for eleven months. Pour that syrup."

"... Eheh, about that ... We're kinda out of syrup. So you have to do the dare."

"God dammit—" He got up, grabbed green hair dye, and poured the whole can on his head, even getting some on the tutu.

"BWAHAHAH!" Fang laughed and fell over because she was laughing so hard.

"..." Hope just shook his head.

"Vanni, truth or dare?" Fang asked.

"Hmm ... Dare!"

"I dare you to say 'statistics' ten times fast."

"Okay? Statistics satitsics saxisdicks statistits sasisits sextitsdick statistics statitsics stasitsics statistics." Vanille blushed. "... I see what you did there."

To get that off of everyone's mind, Sazh suggested, "How 'bout we move on?"

Everyone nodded. "Alright, if you insist," Vanille said.

{There you have it, chapter 4! R&amp;R, please! I need ideas for the rest of the challenges! Thankies! ~Ari}


	5. The Water Challenge

{WARNING: SLIGHT FARRONCEST. AND ALSO FANILLE. This chapter's funny but violent ... Beware. This is also the longest chapter, so ... Yeah. Also, I made it backwards. x3 Just because. Like, instead of Hope daring/truth-ing Fang, it's the opposite, Fang truth/dares him. This applies to everyone.}

**Round Four, The Water Challenge**

Recap:

_To get that off of everyone's mind, Sazh suggested, "How 'bout we move on?"_

_Everyone nodded. "Alright, if you insist," Vanille said._

**x.x.666.x.x**

Whoops.

**x.x.x.x.x**

After the third round, Vanille and Fang quickly left the room.

Hope groaned. "I'm so bo-"

Lightning slapped him. "Don't even say it."

About three minutes later, Vanille and Fang came back. Vanille was carrying a timer, and Fang was carrying a tub of water.

"... What are we going to do with those?" Serah asked nervously.

"This challenge is the water challenge! You have to hold your breath underwater for four minutes! I set the timer. Whoever does it, if they don't make it out, that's too bad for them, and we move on. Sound good?" Vanille explained.

"No!" Sazh, Snow, Serah and Hope said.

"It sounds deadly!" Hope squeaked.

"I'm used to it," Lightning said.

"That's because you're a soldier," Sazh said. "Do we look like soldiers to you?"

"Tch," Lightning replied.

"Alright, let's begin!" Vanille said.

"Oi, Hope. Truth o' dare?" Fang asked.

"... Dare," he decided.

"Oh, one rule everybody!" Vanille interrupted. "The dares and truths must be difficult for the person to answer, therefore leaving them to the water tub!"

"Dammit," Hope said.

"Show us yo' dick."

"... **WHAT**?!" Everyone squealed.

"Did a stutta'? Show us!"

Hope sighed. "I'm gonna be dead." Walking over to the area Vanille was standing at, he got down on his knees, facing toward the tub.

"Whenever you're ready!" Vanille said.

"I love you," Serah said for, possibly the last time.

"What are your possibly last words, Hope?" Snow asked.

He sighed again. "... You look stupid in that outfit."

Hope dunked his head in the water, and Vanille started the timer. _Tick-tick, tick-tick, tick-tick._ It counted ten seconds, eleven seconds, twelve seconds, before Hope's face began turning a bright red.

"Hope!" Serah screamed, getting up out of her seat. Lightning held her down.

"Serah," she said. "You must stay."

"But-"

"**Serah**," Lightning said sharply.

_Tick-tick, tick-tick._ The timer read one minute. Hope was still alive, yes. But he could feel his pulse quickening at the long amount of time he was holding his breath. _00:01:14_, the timer read. _One minute and fourteen seconds_, Vanille thought. _Can he remain alive ...?_

"... Hope ..." Sazh drifted off.

Hope could hear everything they were saying, although he acted dead and unresponsive. _00:02:00_, the timer said. Two minutes already. A sudden thought crossed Hope's mind. What if he really doesn't survive? He can barely make it now. Hot tears stream down Serah's face, causing her eyes to sting, the tears feeling like acid.

Hope's face now purple, his pulse began getting slower and slower the longer he stayed in the very cold water. _He could've just showed it ... It isn't that bad_, Vanille thought. _I know I wouldn't mind, Lightning'd probably just look away, Snow would run out of the room, Sazh would cover his and his chocobo's eyes, Serah would just ... drool, Fang would take pictures and show everyone we know- I see why now he didn't do it ... _She checked the timer. _00:03:48._

"Guys, guys! Ten more seco- nine, eight ... Seven ... six, five ..." Vanille started.

Everyone started counting with her, "... four, three ... Two, **one**!"

"Hope! You can get out now!" Vanille said, oblivious to the fact that Hope may be ... dead.

"Oh no," Serah said.

Fang smirked. "That's what ya get when ya don't show us ya D!"

Hope was still alive, although his heartbeat was very slow. He quirked his lip to the side slightly, forming a grin. He quickly switched back to being 'dead'. He was playing dead, fooling them.

Although Vanille knew what he was doing.

"Hope, if you don't stop playing dead, I'll bring out Dan!" Vanille giggled. This caused Hope to nearly choke on the water, pulling his head out anxiously.

"Don't you **dare**," Hope said, shivering from the water.

"Who slash what is Dan?" Lightning asked.

"A vibrating dildo," Vanille and Fang said.

"... And that's scary how?" Serah asked, wrapping her arms around Hope and kissing his neck.

"The first time we introduced Dan to Hope ... Dan decided to make a living in Hope's ass!" Vanille exclaimed. Hope blushed.

Fang whispered, "She thinks Dan's alive."

"It **huuuuuuurt**!" Hope said.

"I don't want to know," Sazh and Snow said.

"Right ... Uh, Light. Truth or dare?"

"... Tch, dare," Lightning said.

"You're risking your life here," Vanille said.

"I can hold my breath for ten minutes."

"I dare you to ..." Hope pondered for a moment. Eventually, he grinned.

"What?" Lightning asked.

"I dare you to shove Dan inside Vanille's crotch in front of all of us!"

"Oh my Etro, Hope!" Lightning said. "I refuse."

"Alright!" Vanille said, resetting the timer. "Sorry, bae."

Leaning her face directly above the water, Lightning chose her supposedly but unlikely final words to be, "... What the hell is a 'bae'?" Vanille started the timer as Lightning shoved her face in the water.

"Please die!" Snow said.

Lightning flipped him off, still underwater. _00:00:49_ the timer read.

"Dayum, is she really gonna be dat good?" Fang asked.

"My sister is amazing at that kind of stuff," Serah said. "Trust me."

_Tick-tick._ Everyone remain silent for a few minutes. Vanille checked the timer again. _00:03:50 _it read.

"Ten, nine, eight ..." Vanille began chanting, everyone joining her once again, "seven, six, five ... four ... three ... two, ... One!"

"Lighty! ... Bae! Babe? Baby? Girlfriend?" Vanille kept attempting, poking Light.

She lifted up her head, the soldier's purple hair all stuck to the sides of her face, dripping to the ground and her armor. "I'm up," Lightning said. She sat down in her spot.

"Alright ... Truth or dare, Sazh?" Lightning asked.

"Uhh ... I'll take truth," he said.

"Alright ... How big of breasts did your lovely wife have?"

"Well ... **He** doesn't have boobs. He is very well-built." Sazh smirked.

"Oh my gosh, I knew Sazh was gay!" Serah said, giggling. Hope just blushed.

"... Can we just move on please?" Sazh asked.

"Was he black, too?!" Serah asked, laughing her head off.

"... Racist. And no." Sazh shook his head.

"... White?"

"Technically we're all Japanese. But yeah, if you consider yourself white, then he is too."

"What color hair does he have?" Vanille asked.

"Well ... He's blond."

"Oh my gosh, you're dating Maqui! You pedo!" Serah said.

"Wha- **no**!" Sazh sighed.

"... What's his last name?" Lightning asked curiously.

"Eh ... Villiers or somethin'." Everyone immediately looked at Snow. Snow blushed.

"I'm straight, guys," Snow said.

"We really can't believe you when you say that in ... **THAT** outfit," Lightning said.

"Fuck."

"It's not Snow. It's his long-lost brother, Ice, {See what I did there? :3}" Sazh said.

"... Da fuck?" Fang asked.

Lightning blinked. "How did you have a kid if you're-"

Sazh put his finger over her mouth. "Shh, shh."

"... Let's resume the truth or dares," Vanille said.

"Good idea," Serah said.

"Uh ... Serah. Truth or dare?" Sazh asked.

"Daaare!" Serah replied anxiously.

"Alright, alright. Man, I'm gettin' too old for this."

"Hellooooo? Dare me!"

"Okay! I dare you to make out with your sister."

Lightning and Serah glared at Sazh. "..."

"Unless you want to drown, Serah, I recommend you kiss your sister!" Vanille said, grabbing a camera from a backpack she had sitting in the corner of the room, undoing its strap.

"I'm okay with it, Serah ... If my girlfriend's okay with it," Lightning said.

"I am!" Vanille said, giggling.

"Okay ..." Serah blinked. The seeress leaned towards the savior, closing her bright cerulean eyes as she eventually locked lips with her. She reluctantly wrapped her arms around Lightning's neck, deepening the kiss between the two siblings. After a while of complete sensation, — for everyone — Serah pulled away, looking her sister in the eye.

Hope began to inch his hand to his nose, however, Vanille already prepared yet another paper towel for him, and was already covering his nose.

"That was ... surprisingly ... Amazing," Serah said. Lightning nodded.

"I feel really incest right now," Lightning said.

"... Oooooookay!" Vanille said, a bit jealous. "Let's get back to the game, shall we?"

"Snoooow," Serah said. "Truth or dare?"

"... I pick dare," he said.

"Okay! Kiss Sazh!"

"..." was Sazh's response.

Snow gave Sazh a quick peck on the lips, nearly puking afterwards.

"... Okay then!" Vanille said.

"Hey, Vanille!" Snow said. "Truth or dare?"

"Um, I guess, dare!"

"It's only fair that you and Fang kiss now."

"I'm okay wit' it, Vanni," Fang said.

"Oiii." Vanille made a soft 'ugh' noise and leaned over to Fang, sighing. "I'm not getting out of this, am I?"

"Nooope," Sazh and Snow said.

Vanille sighed again and kissed Fang softly, then pulling away and running to the bathroom.

"Well ... That was awkward," Serah said.

"Yeah ..." Lightning agreed.

Vanille came back, still holding the camera. "Okay, well ... I guess we should move on."

"Next round? Already?" Snow asked.

"I think this might be our longest round yet," Vanille said.

"That's true," Sazh said.

"What's the next challenge?" Serah asked.

"Uh ... That's a secret," Vanille said. "You have to be patient."

"Let's just move on already!" Lightning said.

"Okayyy, gosh," Hope said, yawning.

{Alrighty! This chapter took m to write, sorry about that. I hope you enjoyed!}


	6. The Alcohol Challenge

{THERE IS FLIGHT IN THIS. YOU ARE WARNED. Okay! I just got done writing my 'serious' FFXIII story. Now back to my favorite one! Heheh. Here we go! Chapter 6! Btw, in the end of the last chapter, I meant to say "it took me forever to write" damn computer. xD}

**Round Five, The Alcohol Challenge**

Recap:

_"Let's just move on already!" Lightning said._

_"Okayyy, gosh," Hope said._

**x.x.x.x.x**

"... What's this challenge?" Hope asked.

"Oh c'mooon!" Serah said. "You seriously had to ask?"

"I just don't want it to be worse than the 'water challenge'."

"I don't think anything's worse than the water challenge, but we can't be sure," Lightning said.

"Well, there is, but we're not going to do it!" Vanille said.

"... Good."

"This round is the alcohol challenge!" Vanille brought out vodka, whiskey, ale, tequila, moonshine, cider and rum. "It doesn't matter which you pick! When you refuse you drink the whole bottle of whichever you choose."

"Oh, hell," Fang said. "Tha worst thing we need right now is alcohol!"

"We're going to drink alcohol, Fang. Whether you like it or not."

"W-wait ... I'm only fifteen ..." Hope said.

"Oh well!" Snow said, tightening his tutu.

"Why the hell do you like that?" Sazh asked.

"It's so fab."

"Okay, seriously? How can we **not** think you're gay when you say that?!" Serah said.

"... I'm straight."

"You're as straight as a fucking squiggly line," Fang said.

_Is she already drunk, or is she just ... like that?_ Snow thought.

"Truth or dare, Fang?" Hope asked.

"Shnoff shnoff shnoff," she replied.

"... What?"

"I think Fang taste-tested a bit too much of the whiskey," Vanille said.

"Shnare," Fang said.

"... 'Shnare'?" Lightning asked.

"I think she means dare," Hope said. "Uh ... I 'shnare' you to ... go vegan for a day."

"Hell nah!" a supposedly very drunk Fang said. "I will not buy a ticket to Jupiter!"

"... Well there's something," Serah said.

"Fang, you need more alcohol," Vanille said, handing her the bottle of whiskey. Fang popped the cap and chugged it until it was literally empty.

"... How drunk is she now?" Serah asked.

"S-Shut up Peter! Nobody asked you! You cannot just tell me to fuck Hope..." Fang said.

"... Super drunk," Lightning said. "Truth or dare, Hope?"

"I pick truth," he said.

"Have you ever eaten my sister out?"

"..." Hope grabbed the moonshine and began drinking.

"Uh, Hope! That's a really strong dri- Ah, fuck it," Snow said.

Hope eventually threw the empty bottle across the room and fell on Fang's lap.

"You're my little moogle," Fang said, petting him.

"K-kupooo," he said.

"Hey, Vanille?" Serah said.

"Yeah?"

"That camera you have ... What's it for?"

"I'm going to video tape us being drunk and we'll all watch it later when we're on a hangover!" she said cheerfully, setting up the camera. "Okay, everyone. Recording time!"

"Cheese," Hope said.

"I'm video taping, Hope. Not taking a picture." She pressed a red button and it flashed. "Oops, I kinda took a picture."

"Boob-shot!" Snow said.

"What?"

"Your boobs were in front of the camera when you took the picture."

"Oh..." She began recording, and set the camera to her face, waving. "Hi there, us! I'm going to play 'truth or dare' with everyone, while we're drunk!" The saint set down the camera and sat down next to Lightning.

"Truth or dare, Light?" Sazh asked.

"Dare," she said.

"Have sex with my sister in front of all of us before I shove that toothbrush all the way up your boobs!" Fang yelled.

"I ... What toothbrush? And how could you shove something up my boobs ...?"

"I dare you to fuck Vanille," Sazh said. "In front of us."

Lightning grabbed the vodka and drank very quickly. She started trying to choke a teddy-bear with the empty vodka bottle, then realizing this was an impossible task, threw it out the window.

"... Light!" Sazh said.

"You shut the snarf up, Mr. Chocobo-obsessed freak."

"... Okay then," he said.

Lightning tackled Fang and pushed Hope to the side, and sloppily began making out with her.

"Ew," Snow said.

"Kweh," Sazh's chocobo said.

"Poop," Hope said.

"Truth or dare, Sazh?" Serah asked.

"Dare?" he said.

"I dare you to give Snow a blowjob!"

"I ... I really don't want to get drunk. But I don't want to ... ew," he said. He grabbed some ale and drank the whole thing, then fell over, clinging onto the bottle. "Mooom. Get this thing off of me," he said, referring to the bottle.

"Truth or dare, Serah?" Snow asked.

"Dare!"

"I dare you to show us your tits."

"But you've already seen them..."

"Show me and Vanille since all three of us are the only sober ones!"

"... Make that two of you," she said. She grabbed the rum and drank really fast, and then climbed on top of Vanille's desk, then started rocking back and forth. "They're after me. Following me, chasing me. The moogles want revenge. I stole their right to kupo."

"That made no sense whatsoever," Vanille said. "Truth or dare, Snow?"

"I pick dare."

Sigh. "I dare you to find a moogle and chase Serah with it."

"That sounds funny. But I don't know what she'll do. One time, she was so drunk that she ran and hid in the bushes by Cid's house. Man, I had a hell of a time getting her out." He grabbed the cider and drank it.

"Tooth or pear, Vanni?" Fang asked when Lightning stopped eating her face off.

"Dare!"

"Kiss meee."

Vanille sighed, and grabbed the tequila, taking out tons of shot glasses. She poured them all and drank them out of the glasses, eventually getting drunk enough to drop a glass and roll over.

"I wanna go to the next round of ... whatever boxing show we're watching," Hope said.

"Same. Before the moogles eat my shoes and face," Serah said.

{Okay, so here's the sixth chapter! I didn't really expect them to act like this, but that's how it turned out. :3}


	7. The Jelly Bean Challenge

{Wow I am a terrible person I absolutely apologize okay so here is chapter 7.}

**Round Six, The Jelly Bean Challenge**

Recap:

_"I wanna go to the next round of ... whatever boxing show we're watching," Hope said._

_"Same. Before the moogles eat my shoes and face," Serah said._

**x.x.x.x.x**

"I want a cheeseburger!" Vanille yelled.

"Me tooooo!" Hope said.

"Oi. Calm yo tits," Fang said.

"I don't have tits," Hope said.

"You fucked up nigguhhhh," Sazh said.

Fang threw an empty pizza box at everyone.

"OH-EM-GEE!" Vanille squeaked. "FOOOOOD."

Fang also threw alcohol at them.

They all drank the given alcohol, Vanille falling face-first on top of her teddy-bear.

"So where's the diddle?" Fang asked.

"Whaaaa?" Lightning asked.

Sazh, the least drunk (or the most sober - you choose), said, "I think she means 'what's this round's challenge?'"

Vanille sighed. "I think ... I think we should get ourselves un-drunk."

"So we'll have to wait?"

"Yeah!" Vanille said, apparently less drunk.

"Well, how are we going to-"

The author randomly appeared with a French fry. "HI GUYS."

"Who are you?!" Vanille screeched.

"I am the author! You guys are funny when you're drunk. But, unfortunately, for this chapter, you cannot be drunk!"

"... What chapter? Are we in a story or something?"

"Duh! Say 'hi', Vanille!" The author opened a curtain to reveal all of the lovely fans.

"Is that the population of Bodhum?"

Facepalm. "No. Those are your fa-"

"HEY. VANNI. WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT UNICORN?" Fang unnecessarily yelled.

"Uh ... Petting it?"

"WHO PETS A UNICORN WITH THEIR **CLOTHES OFF**?!"

"Fang, shaddup." She casually made Fang shut up with her awesome fanfic author powers.

"How-?!"

"Shhhhh. Now, Fang. Drink this." She handed Fang an odd-looking bottle.

"Tha hell is this? I ain't drinkin' it!" she said.

"It has whiskey in it," the author lied.

"GIMME." Fang grabbed the bottle and drank some, then spewed it out onto the carpet. "That's disgusting!"

"Whoops. I gave you the wrong bottle ..." She took back the bottle and gave her a different one. "I meant to give you this one."

Fang sniffed it. "It smells like Snow. I don't like it."

"Heeey!" Snow whined, tightening his tutu.

Fang drank some anyways because the author said so.

"Can't touch this," the author said, dancing.

"... Will you please **leave**?!" Vanille begged.

"Ugh, fiiine." She poofed into a portal, leaving glitter and shiz behind.

Eventually, everyone had drank from the bottle and was sober.

"So, uh ... What is this round's challenge?" Hope asked Vanille.

"It's called the Jelly Bean Challenge!"

"Uh ... Do we get to eat them?"

"Mmhmm, after the Challenge!"

"Aw man," Snow said.

"What are we supposed to do?" Lightning asked.

"Well, if you don't do the truth or dare, you have to guess how many jelly beans are in this jar. Whoever's the closest gets to punish the person who was the farthest, and decides who gets to eat the jelly beans." Vanille held up a huge jar with thousands of jelly beans.

"Holy shi-" Lightning gasped.

"I know, right?"

"Okay, then. Truth or Dare, Fang?" Hope asked.

"Ah ... Truth this time, Hope."

"Wait!" Vanille interrupted — AGAIN, LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES.

"What now, Vanni?"

"Hmm ... Well!" Vanille faced the fans and someone threw their shirt at her. "... Oookay. Fans! You get to choose our fate as well! If you want!"

Insert fangirl/fanboy screaming.

"Alrighty! You may continue!"

"Okay. Uh ... If Vanille was the last person on Earth, would you fuck her?" Hope asked, grinning.

Fang blushed deeply. "... Yeah, I guess."

Vanille choked on her own spit. "WHA—"

"Hope! Truth or dare?" Lightning asked.

"Um ... Truth!"

"Fine. Uh ... Are you ever going to start a family with my sister?"

"... Maybe eventually!"

"Okay, um ... Truth or dare, Light?" Sazh asked.

"Dare! You're all wussies."

"I dare you to grab Fang's boobs."

"Wha—?! I'm not—! No!"

"I'm okay with it!" Vanille exclaimed.

"... Ugh, fiiine," Lightning groaned, walking over to Fang and grabbing her breasts.

"Tha hell? Sunshine, what're ya doin—ahhh ..." Fang moaned softly.

Lightning ran back to her seat quickly, blushing.

"Um ... Truth or dare, Sazh?" Serah asked.

"Eh ... I'm going with truth."

"Alright. Have you ever been accused of beastiality?"

"... Why do you ask?"

"You have a pet chocobo, don't you? We all know the **real** reason men have pets."

"Um ... Yes, I have been accused, but I never actually did anything. 'Parently carrying around a bird in your hair ain't something that people prefer to see, so they accuse me of it."

"Truth or dare, Serah?" Snow asked, petting his tutu.

"Dare!"

"I dare you to dress like Vanille." Serah nodded and walked to the dressing room, changed, and came back dressed as Vanille.

"I feel like I'm looking in a mirror," Vanille said. "Alright. Snow, truth or dare?"

"Dare, I choose you!" Snow said, pointing at his shoe.

"Snow, this isn't Pokémon. I dare you to take off your tutu."

"... One hundred."

"What?"

"That's my guess for the amount of jelly beans in that jar! One hundred!"

"Oookay. Now, Fang and I shall guess as well!"

"Isn't that cheating?" Lightning asked.

"Nah. I don't have a clue how many jelly beans are in that jar! My guess is twenty-one thousand."

"Hm ... I say forty thousand one hundred and fourteen."

"That's specific," Serah noted.

"It just came off the top of my head."

"Alright! Now ..." Vanille took the card off the top of the jar and read the answer. "It was ..."

"Definitely one hundred," Snow said.

"You're such an idiot!" Lightning said.

"... Twenty-eight thousand nine hundred and fourty four jelly beans! Fang wins!" Vanille said. Fang grabbed the jar and gulped down the jelly beans. "You need to choose a punishment for Snow!"

"Uh ... He has to listen to the ten hours extended version of the Barney theme while eating only popcorn."

"Wait, what? Noooooo!" Snow shouted as Vanille dragged him into another room.

"Ah, poor Snow," Hope said.

"He deserves it," Lightning said. "For being a moron."

{oh my gosh that took me longer than expected so so so sorry}


End file.
